Monday, 1 June 2009

The Boil on the Bum of Britain

Gordon Boil has been admitted to The Priory suffering from exhaustion. The perennial runner-up was escorted by paramedics from No.10 just after 6pm yesterday after suffering "an emotional breakdown." His friend Simon Cowell became worried after the "spaced out" politician began acting strangely, reports The Sun.

The ambulance taking Gordon to the private clinic in North London was followed by a police car. A source at N0.10 told The Sun that he had been acting even more strangely than usual and staff became concerned. They told the paper: "When the paramedics and police arrived he agreed to go voluntarily. He didn't make a fuss. "The paramedics calmly took him out through the main lobby and into the waiting ambulance. It was all done very calmly. They didn't want to stress or upset him. He didn't look well - he looked lost, not all there."

The clinic specialises in treatment of mental health. Boil suffers from emotional difficulties after being deprived of fun when he was a child. A Britain's Got a Problem spokeswoman said: "Following the Andrew Marr show, Gordon is exhausted and emotionally drained. " He has been seen by his private GP, who supports his decision to take a few days out for rest and recovery. We offer him our ongoing support and wish him a speedy recovery."

A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said: "Police were called to doctors assessing a man under the Mental Health Act. The man was taken voluntarily by ambulance to a clinic. At the request of doctors, police accompanied the ambulance."


idle said...

I do not mean to poke fun at the wretched Susan Boyle, who has been caught up in the dreadful meeja spotlight over this whole dance macabre. I wish her well; with luck, she will regain anonymity, but with a couple of million in the bank.

lilith said...

Quite so Idle, that performance on Marr must have really taken it out of him...I know that my own will to live drained long before the end of the interview...and that funny angle he has to keep his shoulders at when he talks must be very bad for the circulation of blood to the brain...

William Gruff said...

If only it were true Idle.

Brown in a padded cell, and awaiting execution too. That would really buck the nation up.

Philipa said...

I agree wholeheartedly with your comment re: Susan Boyle, Idle. I'm glad she has support through this strange frenzy.

I saw this about Broon: "He told BBC Radio 4's Today he was not "arrogant" or "unwilling to listen" but would "stay on to do the job" before calling a general election.

"I'm the best person to clean up the political system," he added.

Mr Brown said: "I think the cleaning up of the political system is best done by someone who has got a clear idea of what needs to be done - and I have."

Crikey it's so good we have him as everyone else clearly has no idea of what needs to be done.

idle said...

I too saw the Brown quotes, pip, and put them on the blog in the Top Right section for a few hours this morning, now usurped by comments from Niall Ferguson I wanted to bring to your attention.

idle said...

Hello, Wm. We should have a lottery for who gets to swing the axe. We'd make a fortune.

Philipa said...

Thanks for bringing that quote to my attention, Idle. Sorry I missed it. The Ferguson quote puts me in mind of CU's recent blog post.

Scrobs... said...

" He has been seen by his private GP, who supports his decision to take a few days out for rest and recovery. We offer him our ongoing support and wish him a speedy recovery."

"Speedy Hire may have picked up the contract to rent tools and construction kit to London’s Olympic Park, but it is too soon to hand out medals."

Just keep well clear of any smell which seems like Downing Street...

Don't say I didn't warn you!


Speedy are a great company, well managed, good service, they really don't deserve to have the mantra of Bruin round their necks!

rvi said...

In case you missed it, there is a great twitter chez Dale to the effect that things were now so bad Susan phoned to find out how Gordon was. Brilliant!

rvi said...

By the way, has Jonah been on the phone to Cape Town lately?

From a South African newspaper:

2010 Balls up

Traffic chaos reigned on city roads early this morning when giant soccer ball made specially for the new 2010 World Cup stadium struck a low bridge on the N1 while being carried on the back of a truck, bringing it crashing to the ground. The ball was airlifted to the stadium by helicopter, but when it reached the site and was about to be lowered by crane on to its mountings above the stadium's entrance, engineers found that the mounting brackets were wrong. Traffic authorities say representatives of [the company that made it] then decided to return the ball to their workshop by truck, but failed to take low bridges into account.

The bridge is to be demolished today with further traffic disaster expected for the city's already stressed motorists.