Wednesday, 10 November 2010

It's Me Human Riots, Innit?

Dwayne, 21, from Weston-super-Mare, is reading Immediate Gratification Studies at Keele University. He is pictured here at Millbank Tower, on his way to lobby his Member of Parliament.

Chief Inspector Lee Feckless, of the Metropolitan Police, defended his officers' stand-off tactics, saying "at this moment in time, and being mindful of the danger of the situation escalating, my officers were instructed to apply for triple time and start filling in a few forms ahead of what will be a busy period for them tomorrow, when they will be filing trauma reports and seeking time off on full pay to try try to come to terms with what all of us can agree has been a very difficult situation".

Banker VV Idle, of Mayfair, a passer by, said: "Personally, I'd give them a ten minute warning and then run the bastards down with mounted police and batons. Some of the chaps at work have suggested water canon with indelible ink, others have suggested tear gas and stun grenades. No one thinks that these people are really students, or that if they are, that there is any possible chance of them turning into productive members of society. One of our brightest young bankers suggested swapping them for intelligent, industrious and well-meaning immigrants who would like to enter this country, which we all agreed would be a double net benefit. An older colleague suggested shipping them to a remote Hebridean island and leaving them to fight each other like Lord of the Flies."

David Cameron is abroad.