Aussie Electioneering

The Australians go to the polls in September and things are hotting up. The race is between a Welsh woman and a bloke who is famous for being photographed in his budgie smugglers. The last election was a dead heat between the two, with the winner decided by which of them offered the most money had the more appealing 'local infrastructure policies' to a couple of backwoodsman Queensland MPs who belonged to neither national party, but to the remnants or variants of the party founded by the remarkable Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen.

This is in pretty poor taste, but I feel it my duty to pass on to you the latest news from the stump:

The Liberal Party (led by Tony Abbott, he of the banana hammock) had a fundraiser recently at which the menu featured "Julia Gillard Kentucky Fried Quail - Small Breasts, Huge Thighs and a Big Red Box".

Just Say Yeo

“If you want to meet the right people, I can facilitate all those introductions and I can use the knowledge I get from what is quite an active network of connections.”

One thing for sure, Tim Yeo won't resign. Nor will his party leader make him do so. The depth of climate change zealots and ratbags in Parliament will mean he gets an easy time on this. They all appear to have too much skin in the game, whether it be current and future taxation, or planned careers once their ministerial gigs come to an end.

We must hope, however, that his open admission that he is prepared to corrupt his position as chairman of the all-party Energy and Climate Change Select Committee for £7 grand a month will, at least, get him pushed out by sustained pressure from the small but vociferous percentage of MPs of all parties (except the Libs and the Green woman, natch) that know just what a scam this all is.

Tim Yeo costs all of us money, needlessly. He ramps the cost of one of our most necessary commodities. He is fundamentally dishonest. May the ghastly spiv rot for eternity.

On Gongs

I have the highest regard for Amanda Donnelly, Gemini Donnelly-Martin and Ingrid Loyau-Kennett. Their courage and sang-froid, in an increasingly cowardly and hysterical world, are an example to us all and a terrific message to send to other would-be-murdering savages and their apologists, mentors and supporters. (I apologise for reproducing a picture of the grisly scene, but thought it necessary for the post).

I was sent the following today from a petition group which I thought I'd unsubscribed from:

Ministry of Defence (@DefenceHQ): Award the George Medal to the Woolwich heroines By Rev. Jesse v. Woolwich Sign the Petition

On 22 May after Fusilier Lee Rigby was killed in an horrific attack in Woolwich, three women stepped forward, confronted the attackers and went to his aid. Amanda Donnelly and her daughter Gemini Donnelly-Martin comforted the soldier as he lay on the ground and Ingrid Loyau-Kennett calmly spoke to the attackers until police arrived. The fact that no other bystander was hurt in the incident is testament to the courageous actions of these women. As the Rector of Woolwich I saw how the tragedy hit this community hard, but the actions of Gemma, Amanda and Ingrid has been an inspiration to all of us. Instead of running away when they saw danger they went straight to the heart of it.  As the people of Woolwich comes to terms with what happened here -- coming together to honour the heroines of that day will send a positive message of unity and peace. The George Medal can be awarded to civilians for acts of great bravery. This is one of those acts. Please sign the petition to ask the MOD to award Ingrid, Gemini and Amanda the George Medal.

My instinct is that this is not George Medal stuff. I hope I am not being mealy-mouthed. They have my thanks and admiration, but I don't think they should be rewarded with George Medals.

Or am I wrong?

Idle as Arlott

For a modern example of a good result apparently justifying no end of foolishness, I refer you to two dogged but somewhat unimaginative cricket professionals, Coach Flower and Captain Cook.

'The result completely vindicates the tactics' they waffled. 'We've won by over 200 runs, what is there to complain about?'

Let me tell you, then. First, one of the rules of professional sport is to press home your advantage. Did you do so? No.

Second, there is such a thing as the Met Office and they are not always numpties. Short-term forecasting is better now than it has ever been. 'A good chance of persistent rain tomorrow' is, er, a good chance.

Always enforce a follow on when you have bowled out a side in less than 50 overs; you will not be draining your bowlers of energy for the rest of the summer, particularly if you have a spinner to operate from one end enabling you to rotate the quicks. If you HAVE to bat again, see off the new ball and then get stuck in. Don't play for your average or for a century when quick runs are needed. And when you bowl at a team needing a world record score to win, don't be defensive in the field. Only one slip and sweepers on the boundary? Give me strength!

Flower and Cook's strategy was wrong from the moment that England bowled out NZ in the first innings. Cook's initial quick runs in the second innings were rendered far less valuable when he and Trott batted like Barnacle Bill Bailey trying to save a test match in the 1960s. It is hard to recall so stark an instance of giving up the upper hand, given the poor weather forecast.

Australia are already here in this country and they would have been watching. They might have been given a reminder of our toughness, as well as our talent. Instead, they saw a weakness. 'Mate' (they would have said to one another) 'these guys are pussies when it comes to knocking the opponent out'.

Get a grip, England management. And then don't let go. Simple.

You Gotta Love Matt

Hang 'em High

There is a clear case for capital punishment for the imbecilic savages who killed a young soldier with a machete today in broad daylight, in full view of the public, and then paraded up and down the street chanting the standard Islamic phrases, inviting their picture to be taken.

No good can come of their being saved from death by doctors, returned to health, sent to prison, and YES, you guessed it, released in due course, to become leeches of the state, being unemployable, having no money for food and shelter. They will cost us all a hundred grand a year for the rest of their cursed lives. Doubtless they will father children during 'conjugal visits'.

Opponents of capital punishment rely on the element of doubt. Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent one put to death, etc.

In clear cut cases, let's dispense with the bleeding hearts and open the trapdoor. It won't bring us down to 'their' level, nor will it up the ante in the ongoing culture/religious war. The enemies of western liberal democracies have nothing but contempt for our weakness.

Disgusted of Sussex

Definition of Insanity

We all know it, do we not? Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result?

I know Pakistan quite well, having travelled there three times a year for five years or so in the late 80s and early 90s. I have followed, with heavy heart, the evolution of the state from General Zia's strong-arm tactics to the recent absurdity of Asif Ali Zardari's administration. Zardari is a kleptomaniac, of billionaire status.

Nawaz Sharif is not much better. His last administration became so brazenly corrupt it virtually invited the military to take over again after the softest of coups. Sharif had to flee to Saudi Arabia.

There was only ever the slightest chance of the great Imran Khan getting his countrymen to see sense. But to vote Sharif back into power and expect a different result this time is bonkers. Even his own daughter has said  publicly that he has learned his lesson and won't be so corrupt this time. Crikey.

The failed state of Pakistan will remain a basket case, harbouring outlaws, terrorists and people who sell nuclear secrets to the North Koreans. Its government spends less on education than it does on minsterial limos. Less than a quarter of the last Cabinet paid any income tax at all.