Send Three and Fourpence, We're Going to a Dance

I'm driving into the snowdrifts of the Berkshire Downs to watch the idle girls' acting brilliance over the next couple of days at the school's Drama Weekend. So I'll leave you with a compo. It's not strictly Chinese Whispers, even though I have used the classic CW as the title of this post. (For overseas readers: A WW1 message from the front started out as "Send reinforcements, we're going to advance". By the time it had been passed on to HQ by three or four field radio operators, it read: "Send three and fourpence, we're going to a dance").

No, it's more to do with cynical lefty manipulation. The post a week or so back about BBC doublespeak resulted in a comment thread which gave imaginary examples of lazy oafish overpaid Beeboids coming up with headlines giving a completely different story than the full text. Susan Watts of Newsnight was, of course, doing this deliberately, to suit her Man-Made-Mumbo-Jumbo-Global-Warming agenda.

For some reason idle became the subject of these bogus headlines. I found myself, inter alia, scratching my nuts, worshipping Satan, pleasuring Alsatian bitches. Here is a full example:

Idle is said to have a passion for gardening, which does wonders for his crippling asthma. "Nothing better than to see a flower bed without a weed, " he breathlessly pants.

BBC reports: Idle says "I've weed my pants"

So there you have it. Show your creative side, and at the same time put yourselves into the running for a cushy BBC journo's post, with loads of dosh, unlimited expenses, and a gold-plated pension.