Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Old Bond, New Bond

Rory Sutherland is an ad man who writes a column in the Speccie. I liked the way he put his view on the 007 question in his last column:

I try hard to like the new, darker James Bond, but I miss the camp insouciance of the earlier films. If you’ve grown up with the type of 007 who briefly interrupts a bout of exotic love-making to sabotage a Russian spyplane with a champagne cork, it’s hard to warm to a character who spends most of the film engaged in the kind of fighting you’d expect to see in a pub car-park in Maidstone.

The Tuscan, when he is not spivving insurance scams to unwary Florentines, or knitting baby boots, takes this sort of thing seriously. Perhaps this will flush him out.

What do you think? Connery or Craig? M as an ex-admiral or as a career-woman civil servant? Bags of smoking and misogyny, or perfect pectorals and a banana-hammock? I think I know the answer to the debate: who can name me ONE memorable quote from the new, 'ard-as-nails, testosterone-frenzied version of the franchise?


Anonymous said...

Farky here Idle...........trust you are well. Send all best to Mrs Idle and hope Miss Idle is a magnificent Artful Dodger. Something tells me she will be! :)

May I nominate the following.....

James Bond: I've got a little itch. Down there. Would you mind?

[Le Chiffre strikes his knotted rope into Bond's groin.]

James Bond: No! No, no, no! To the right! To the right! To the right!

Tuscan Tony said...

"Rog" for the Tuscan every time, as set out in the commments of my last July post you kindly refer to. I think it worth ((if I may) resurrecting the final comment on that rather good thread, which I am ashamed to say have only just "got":

ilt said...
From You only Live Twice (I think)

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.

James Bond: I just might retire here.

Me too!

Rory/you are of course right regarding the new films, whilst all excellent hokums (hoka? hokae?) it is rather irrelevant that the hero's name is James Bond. He coudl be any all-actyion hero, really. Incidentally my least favourite Bond is Timothy Dalton, far too gay for the Tuscan taste. I have even warmed to George Lazenby in recent years.

Tuscan Tony said...

p.s. has anyone read Colonel Sun? The last work of Fleming, who pegged out after the first 40something pages if I recall. I have never got past page 41.

Bill said...

I cannot remember too many lines.

I like Lazenby/OHMSS too. Connery is great. Quite fond of Dalton. Didn't bother buying the Moore ones on DVD. Same goes for the last Bond although I did get Mama Mia.

idle said...

Bonjour, Farqs. I hope I will see you on Friday and Saturday for the drama things. Little Miss Idle has done the Dodger before, at prep school, and was pretty damn good. The same crumpled top hat has been sent for, and is in the post from my bro in Somerset. Good luck charm.

Tuscan, it just so happens that OHMSS was playing on ITV this weekend. I was reminded of how utterly terrible Lazenby was. As wooden as an Aussie gum tree, up which his career ended, if you see what I mean.

Who ever thought that a Highland gentleman would take his kilt and that preposterous lacy evening shit to the Alps with him? And the skin-tight tailored shirts were disappointing.

Didn't Kingsley Amis finish Colonel Sun. Guessing here, haven't googled. I like Amis, Père et Fils.

Tuscan Tony said...

idle - by strange chance the Tuscana herself was The Artful Dodger at her school revels somewhere in the Surrey Hills. She was also someone called "Baron Bolligrew", a fact which I frequently use to humiliate her with.

apricotfox said...

Bond: I got them Le Chiffre
M: They got the body.
Bond: Well, if they wanted his soul, they should have made a deal with a priest'.
Connery *****
Lazenby **
Moore 0 ( vile, unattractive...any chap out there who models himself on Roger Moore is sorely, tragically misguided..
Dalton *
Brosnan **** but a huge RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! factor
Craig ***** OK, it's a different Bond offering, but the acting is so good, so suggestive of real depth that I , for one, really engage with the charcter and therefore get swept along on the rollercoaster.

Elby The Beserk said...

Connery by a country mile. Haven't seen the new bloke, tho' he was good as a demented Geordie in Our Friends In The North.

I suspect Connery got the better villains - and girls.

TT, yeah, I read Colonel Sun, all of nigh on 40+ years ago, so can't recall a thing about it. I do know my older brother had 6 or 7 of the early novels in first editions, with dust covers etc. Worth a mint now, I gather. Don't think he still has them. Still, he's worth a mint, so is probably not bothered.

As an old bastard, I'd think that most boys of my age will recall covering their lap with their hands when Ms. Undress arose from the sea like Venus on the half-shell. Gulp. Help.

Must go. Pig is getting agitated at the dog on the other side of the glass back door. Come most evenings around this time, so he has to check it most evenings at this time.

idle said...

No humiliation with Bolligrew, Tuscan. I did it at school as well.

Robert Bolt wrote it, along with much oscar-winning stuff, most notably the superb A Man For All Seasons. I think he was married to our local celebrity lunatic, Sarah Miles, who lives opposite our mutual friends, in Chithurst Manor.

Tuscan Tony said...

The Tuscana (PBUH) describes the Bolligrew lines as amongst the most challenging she had to commit to memory. More complex than buying a round at the Lickfold Inn, she assures me.

brickbat said...

The great Sir David Niven was the best james bond?
And by the Sir Terry Thomas in my eyes was the greatest?
lovely blog

idle said...

Welcome, brickbat. And thanks.

Philipa said...

Women go a bit bonkers over Craig's muscles but I can't get that worked up myself. (shaken, not shtirred)

I prefer the Lazenby/Connery Bond to moisten the appetite. Her Majesty's Secret Service was my favourite in terms of impact - the bit where she died was so sad; "It's all right. It's quite all right, really. She's having a rest. We'll be going on soon. There's no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world." - but in terms of watching loads of times it's Live And Let Die. I love the speedboat chase. Best Bond quote was Pussy Galore introducing herself and his reply IMHO. Best scene was Ursula Adress in that bikini coming out of the sea. Classic.

idle said...

It is interesting that both the Tuscan and Philipa are content with Lazenby. I thought that he was universally thought to be poor. Perhaps the lovely Diana Rigg saved the day. The final scene is blub-inducing, I will admit.

Well done Farqs and the Apricot Fox for coming up with modern quotes. Still, they are not of Roald Dahl quality.

The Tuscan is right - the Craig 007 is just A.N. Other all-action hero in a bond-like scrape. Could be Cruise in MissImp or whossname in the Bourne series.

Terry-Thomas would have made a fine comic Bond, perhaps nearing retirement and getting a little bored and short-tempered about it all.

Philipa said...

Idle - did you ever see 'Our Man Flint' with the fabulous James Coburn? Excellent Bond spoof. Closely followed by the (play on words with 'in like flynn) 'In Like Flint' in 1967.

When you say TT would have made a good Bond I can't help remebering that excellent 1960 film 'School for Scoundrels' in which he unravelled his cool persona. Good film and fine performances all round.

Tuscan Tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tuscan Tony said...

With Phi on the best film to watch repeatedly - that, or perhaps Man with the Golden Gun. Best exchange though is from Diamonds Are Forever:

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.

James Bond: But of course you are.

Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.

James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

All good, ripe stuff. She had a spectacular set of hooters too, best of all the whole series, way ahead of the Halle plumped-up raisins.

Prodicus said...

Bond, without a flicker, in answer to Vesper's lofty '...your perfect arse'.

'You noticed.'


brickbat said...

Sir Terry would made the greatest piss take off all time as would ian Carmicheal but sadly a little to early for the sixties?
I look on y-tube for Terry and they´ve got fuck all over the greatest english cad of all time,leslie phillips was a good cheap copy but nowhere on par !
great blog if only for the picture!

god bless us TOMMIES said...

Sir Richard Todd unsung squaddie

brickbat motor -torpedo -boats med flotilla 1942 -1945 dad said...

Sir Richard todd
proved his shit but the boy sadly could not live up to father?

brickbat motor -torpedo -boats med flotilla 1942 -1945 dad said...

Sir Richard todd
proved his shit but the boy sadly could not live up to father?

BRICKBAT said...

sir richard todd?
an actor what did the do?
hard as iron pegusus bridge and could whip the pants off the lot of em???
shame his boy could not live up to his father?

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