Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Namecheck


Every year I get an email from a mate in the City. Some junior trader he knows fills the boring days between Christmas and New Year in the office by trawling through the list of Bloomberg users/subscribers and putting out the annual Best Names list. Here they are, in no particular order. My favourites are the ace French trader at #11, Fabienne Cretin; #23 John Kokkinias, poor bastard, and finally, surely a throwback to Carry On Sailor, at #13 Ginger Seaman.

1. KIKUKO TAKENOSHITA 13. GINGER SEAMAN
2. MATTHEW WANK 14. KAREN ARSOLA
3. CHRISTOPHER FISTER 15. LUDGER POOS
4. GUSTAVO CUNTO 16. ANDREW SHAFTER
5. ROSEMARY NOBBE 17. FUKKY TANTANG
6. CHETAN DIKSHIT 18. WAN KIM
7. DARIO DIKLIC 19. ALEXANDRA SUKMAWATI
8. EDWARD TITTMAN 20. WING MAN
9. DIANE BEAVER 21. DOROTHY CHUNDA
10. DAVID MORON 22. DIK BLEWITT
11. FABIENNE CRETIN 23. JOHN KOKKINIAS
12. DONNA BUMGARDNER 24. ROSS SMELLIE

28 comments:

Philipa said...

Hilarious! Thanks, Idle.

Terry Bygge-Koch said...

I don't get the joke.

apricotfox said...

I still smile (infant that I am) when I remember two boys at my brother's school on Exmoor..A(ndrew) Nurse and P(eter)Nurse...the second is now a famous obstetrician, I believe...Well, he would be, wouldn't he?

apricotfox said...

..oh and surely Ginger Seaman is from 'Captain Pugwash'??

The Refuser said...

Thanks Idle that gave me a good chuckle.

Alceste said...

Christopher Fister (sorry if you're tunin' in, Chris) reminds me of a genuine (and pre-spellcheck) letter to a client from a Magic Circle law firm. "I will be the partner in charge and during the transaction I will be assfisted by Jennifer Smith."

Tuscan Tony said...

I wondered if these were made up; google suggests I am wrong:

http://www.facebook.com/people/Kikuko-Takenoshita/695747058

Not a bad looking filly, for a Takenoshita, of course.

Tuscan Tony said...

I have invited no.s 1 and 14 to be my friends on Facebook. Will report back. Google has given me the Amex details of No. 4:

1120088/AMERICAN EXPRESS/Gustavo Cunto/374270025671006/04/09/3544///Gustavo/Cunto/Flat 12/Clarendon Court/33 Maida Vale/London/W9 1AJ/02072664572/gustavoc@btinternet.com/Piedrita/

All rather worrying.

Bill Quango MP said...

DARIO DIKLIC

Imagine him walking up to your receptionist.
"My name is DARIO DIKLIC. I have an appointment with Mr IDLE"

nora bone said...

I don't get it either

lilith said...

Here is the fabulous samantha bumgarner

PS. You will need some dressings for the bleeding from your ears if you play the Mp3

Anonymous said...

Morning Idle....Farqs here
Most amusing!! You will be interested to hear that on the day I opened the bowling for Eton against the Dump on the Hump at Lords in 1980 from the Nursery End my team mate Richard Bluett (aka Dick) opened up from the Pavilion End. He took 6-55...I didn't..... 2-24

idle said...

Has anyone - ANYONE - ever managed to turn the conversation round to a when-I-opened-the-bowling-for-Eton-at-Lords-story on so skinny a pretext as Farqs just did?

Of course, I would have done exactly the same.

So Bluett out-bowled you. Perhaps he was McGrath to your Gillespie.

lilith said...

Has anyone - ANYONE - ever managed to turn the conversation round to a when-I-opened-the-bowling-for-Eton-at-Lords-story on so skinny a pretext as Farqs just did?

Ah hem, Idle, methinks you are pot calling Farqs kettle...

I seem to recall many "when I had tea with Colonel Gaddafi" type interjections from your own keyboard, Iders...

Like it, Farqs.

idle said...

Oh, all right then. I did admit that I would have done the same, had I ever been entrusted with the new ball at Lords.

Henry Blofeld once told me that I hit one of the most elegant cover drives he'd ever seen. Problem was that I was driving from the 10th tee at St Enedoc Golf Club.

Bill Quango MP said...

Henry Blofeld once told me that I hit one of the most elegant cover drives he'd ever seen. Problem was that I was driving from the 10th tee at St Enedoc Golf Club.

That's a coincidence.
He told me I hit the most elegant drive cover he had ever seen.
A sort of plastic rainproof thingy Lord Stabber-Thighs had had erected over his newly laid gravel.

idle said...

Bingo Quall MP - are you sure it wasn't Dr Spooner who said that to you?

Ophelia Cox said...

This is very offensive to people like me plagued by a name which sick folk like you seem to find funny.

Philipa said...

Idle I would be happy to invite you to pop by my humble blog if Blue or Scrobs would be kind enough to give you my blog email address?

I see that Mel, on the BJ blog, identifies an Alfonso Prat-Gay: "In an office he would answer the phone as: “Prat Gay” "
Apparently Mr Prat-Gay is meeting next week in parliament.

Caroline Smith said...

No-one ever makes fun of MY name...but I think it's really funny and I wish more people would share the laugh.

idle said...

I have asked scrobs to provide, philipa. I feel most honoured.

Old Holborn said...

From this weeks Private eye

Major Days-Bee
Mary Ann Bright
Ann May Hall
York Rhys
Mrs B White

I'm going to use that one next Christmas

Dave H said...

My personal favourites are:

Dr De'Ath (research chemist)
Helmut Fucker (motorcycle dealer)
Wilhelm Wank (financial adviser)

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

Strange
The late Mr Blofeld told me that I had one of the most elegant drives he had ever seen.
Some pikies had just tarmaced it for me.

brickbat said...

circus master; claude Balls
living by the yangtze; I.P Daily

bollocksed said...

idle old chap,do me a bingo and tell me the film with what was the one of the greatest films are one upmanship based on lifemanshipian carmic
i give up im pissed
we had a good childhood

Philipa said...

bollocksed - school for scoundrels?

Anonymous said...

Thanks sweetheart?