Monday, 3 August 2009

Bangers and Haricot Beanz

Goodwood is over and life threatens to become dull. There is even the bleak prospect of becoming less idle and taking early trains into the smoke each weekday morning, but let's cross that bridge when we come to it.
The political scene is dead for a few weeks to come, though I liked the idea of Lord Fondlebum of Boy resigning his seat in the Lords in order to take his rightful place at the helm of this once great country as a sitting MP. I have long thought that Mandy is easily the cleverest Labour politician and whilst he is also the least honest and principled, he would make a very enjoyable premier in the weeks leading up to the great purge of Labour in May next year. I'm thinking about the gaiety of the nation, you understand.
On the subject of gaiety, Michael Gove (who, though a married father and a product of that fine city Aberdeen, I've always thought might bat for both sides) suggests that Dave Cameron is the sort of man "you could imagine snogging like we did to True by Spandau Ballet". This is deeply troubling on many levels, the most alarming being that anyone with designs on revolutionising our desperate education system even listens to True by Spandau Ballet, let alone swaps spit with a chap whilst doing so.
There being no other business, idle retired to the comfort of his drawing room to roll a fag and watch the test match. Strauss has just dropped Clarke off part-time bowler Bopara and an unlikely victory recedes still further.

16 comments:

Scrobs... said...

...and I keep flicking back to the BBC page to sit even further down in my chair, and feel abject despair on our progress, rolling in from the churchyard in full view from my desk...

Someone's also mentioned the game at Cardiff, and I want to go and do something interesting, like write down every town in the UK which needs me to visit it before I'm too old...

Tuscan Tony said...

Very good.

By odd coincidence Wilfred Emmanuel-Jones, a.k.a. The Black Farmer has just begged to become a friend of mine on Facebook. I've let the cove aboard, as he seems a decent sort but it is all rather mysterious, though, at the same time. If he wants me to try out his sausage he will be disappointed.

Tuscan Tony said...

I've just noticed you plan to "roll a fag". I trust this is a reference to the ritual burning of paper-wrapped leaves, and not some appalling school reunion chez idle.

Scrobs... said...

...'roll a fag'...

We called it 'Buxing' Tuscs, and the smell of a prefect's shoes, in the height of summer, just shed with magisterial aloofness for a polishing far beyond the call of duty, will remain with me for eternity...

On the other hand, it was a holiday when we didn't have to polish the soles as well...

idle said...

What on earth are you doing on Facebook, Tuscan? I thought it was for teenagers.

Oops, silly me; I understand. Good luck. Don't let on how old you are or that your favourite band is Earth Wind & Fire.

idle said...

Scrobs, have you been to Goole? Something tells me you would love it.

Did you polish anything else for the prefects?

electro-kevin said...

Ha

I forgot you were into roll-ups.

I thought I'd imagined it at the Wine Library.

You'd get on with Pappa E-K an' li'l Bro' - both Rizzla men.

lilith said...

Wilfred is cool, TT. I heard him saying on the radio that anyone who licks arse is selling their soul. That's why he's been self employed so long. His sausages are superb. All meat and no gluten or water. Most excellent. We have eaten them cooked by his own dusky hand. His daughter does chipolatas.....

idle said...

And does his son do cocktail sausages, lil?

Thud said...

TT,Idle...public school,fags?....I feel a bout of forelock tugging and cap doffing coming on.

William Gruff said...

Aaah, Idle, the hand rolled cigarette. The one thing I miss about smoking. I cannot now remember what my tobacco was called but I used to buy it from a little corner tobacconist (sold nothing else but tobacco and a huge assortment of smokers' requisites) in York, when I lived there.

rvi said...

As a simple country lad, I just cannot keep up with all these different entendres. My brain hurts.

And nobody even mentioned a middle stump despite the subject being cricket.

Elby the Beserk said...

30 years an Old Holborn smoker me. Packed it in four or five years ago, and whilst I don't miss the baccy, I do occasionally miss the ritual.

Black Farmers bangers as good a sausage as you can get in any supermarket for sure. Think he's standing as Conservative in a Midlands constituency.

idle said...

He's standing for Chippenham, elby. Consider him already elected.

Quite close for you to go and see him on the hustings and report back to us.

Philipa said...

Can't say I'm a Gove fan and that image you depicted; Eew!

Tuscan Tony said...

Idle - political aspirations: so that's why he wants to be my friend. All is revealed.