Sunday, 3 August 2008

Not Cricket

No wonder the wretched fellow couldn't score a run to save his life and had started to make captaincy decisions that bordered on lunacy.

His backbone had turned into another tear duct! This is obviously not the same man who took the Ashes from the Strines in 2005.

We know why he's REALLY crying, of course: no share of the $20m pyjama cricket slogathon in Antigua this autumn.

The Idle choice for new skipper is old Fatty Key, by the way. Good batsman, already achieved a double ton in tests, good skipper at Kent, not part of the current cosy, rich England set-up.


Scroblene said...

Here Here Idle!

Funny looking bloke; utterly reliable, left out for unknown reasons and ready to take on the job at a moment's notice!

The Lakelander said...

It would be nothing more than a reflection of the times we live in if Michael Vaughan now needed counselling.

What a jessie!

idle said...

It is (I gather) quite acceptable for a chap to blub tears of joy. I frequently reduce myself to tears of helpless mirth, particularly when enjoying my own jokes.

But blubbing like some spotty type from the Remove when you are resigning a captaincy after 5 years, with a winning record? Eh?

Get a grip, Vaughan, regain your form with Yorkshire, and contest a place in the Ashes side next summer and do to a (less good) Aussie side what you did to them in 02/03.

Barnsley Bill said...

And they have given the best job in the world to sideshow bob. Remind me what happened the last time we allowed a seth efrikan to hold that rank?
Blubbing captains was something only the strayans could claim before this. A dark day for England Cricket.

idle said...

I presume you mean Greig, BB. In which case I'll hazard a guess that we lost an Ashes series or two, probably got turned over by the WIndies as well.

Barnsley Bill said...

Yes sir. And he assisted in the gifting of the game to Kerry Packer

idle said...

Of course. But if not Packer, someone else. The one-day format was just waiting to take off and the old MCC/ICC were a bunch of geriatrics still discussing Bodyline.

The difference between now and then is that 20/20 will not sustain itself. It really is a crap form of cricket for grown-ups. That half-hour of Freddie bowling at Kallis at Edgbaston (rather like his inspired spell against Langer and Ponting in 05) was gripping stuff which can only happen in the context of a test match.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

What a tart!

I blame all the Germaine Greers of this world for this, and the tossers in the Lads Mags who reckon that blokes should be in touch with their feminine sides.

Man-bags, manscara - whatever next?

Strap the maggot to the front of a HUMVEE, and let the Taliban have him.

We're doomed, I tell you, DOOMED!