McCain "picks Palin" as VP Running Mate

Your US2008 broadcaster, idlenewsinc, sheds more light on this unlikely pick:

That US Election Made Simple

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Not a Promising Start.....

The idle take on the London show in Beijing:

Okay, it's a London bus, but not the one we all like, which would have looked like this:


And out of it popped:

Now, don't get me wrong; I rate Jimmy Page highly. Led Zep were THE band of the early seventies. But if Jimmy Page is the musical face of London 2012, gawd help us. The poor old bugger was sweating like a sex tourist in the back alleys of Saigon, playing a riff which, though immediately recognisable, required carbon-dating to find out its exact age to the nearest century.

So, to reduce the average age of the combo to 50, they chucked in Leona Lewis, who I gather is a Simon Cowell wage slave. Could she sing like Robert Plant? Could she fuck. And her legs? In close up, they look a bit like these:


And then we got the tattooed lady himself, a global icon, but surely one whose particular sport and personal wealth make him as good a representative of the Olympic ideal as Lewis Hamilton, or Tiger Woods, for heavens sake!



And all with a troupe of dancers with umbrellas which was not exactly as artistic and memorable as Gene Kelly, more a bunch of spazzo office workers hurrying for the bus home in an August downpour.

They have had three years to come up with something this dreadful which lasted a mere 8 minutes; don't get your hopes up for an hour-long show in 2012.

Pants.

Twatwatch Latest Pictures

Jonah has cast his gloomy countenance upon the team and they are all falling over, stubbing their toes, or failing to perform quite as well as hoped....

In the case of the poor taekwando girl, she was blatantly robbed by a stinking piece of hometown judging.

The stench of death that he leaves in his wake is obviously viral.

UPDATE: Unprecedented overturning of taekwando decision. I wonder - did the president of the IOC get on the blower to the president of the Taekwando Assoc, and say something along the lines of "if you want to survive as an Olympic sport, you have 15 minutes to reach the correct decision...."

Last of the Dodgy Album Covers

Let's hear it for the fat girls. Or for men who take pity on them. Or for chaps who can't get a pretty one, have not yet tried the asian-babe route, and end up with a minger.

Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny!



On the bright side, you wouldn't get cold at night and the fridge would be well-stocked.

The Terrible Millie Jackson Album Covers

Nice. But is this as bad as the one where she is photographed, straining, on the khazi, which the Weasel brought to our attention last week?

You be the judge.



At least the bog is clean and she hasn't run out of paper. What is she planning to do with that shoe?

Lunatic Health Fascist Californian Gets Fisking

The Filthy Smoker has written a foul-mouthed rant of the highest order over at The Devil's Kitchen. He fisks a man called Bernard Parks.

This Californian politician halfwit advocates banning smoking anywhere "where there is an expectation that people might be present". That's anywhere, then. If you mean to prohibit smoking completely, articulate the argument, Adolf. Secondhand smoke, regardless of its dilution in the air, is the greatest killer out there, he reckons.

My bet is that some public-spirited American will choose not to shoot himself, but shoot Parks instead.

More of those album covers...

Wrikled Weasel rightly suggested that no religious album anthology was complete without Freddie Gage's legendary album. You gotta love those boots.





And the Handless Organist's heroics are challenged by this plucky trio:





But here's my favourite, as creepy a cover as was ever published. A must-have for "groomers" everywhere.

Bible-Bashers Friday Special

The Tuscan went all religious on us earlier today, probably it being a Friday and eating fish. Perhaps it's a holy festival down Lucca way this week.

So I wanted to share some of my sacred old album covers with you. The Mermaid, if she is still with us, will love this. First up, an attractive young bunch from the mid-west, who I fear might be a bit racy for you:



You want it REAL, man? Try Dexter:



Idle runs a fully inclusive blog. How about this for overcoming adversity and bringing a smile to our faces?



And my personal favourite, those innocent boys of The Ministers Quartet. Never a double-entendre uttered by these god-fearing folk:

Brown, Up to his Neck in Sith

You've got to hand it to Guido. My old workmate smelt a rat earlier than anyone, went at it like a terrier, and has won.

Lovely Bubbly

A 115-year-old bottle of Veuve Clicquot Champagne, the oldest ever found, has been unearthed in a drinks cabinet in a Scottish Castle, according to the estimable Berry Bros.

The owner of Torosay Castle on the Isle of Mull found the wine in an old drinks cabinet. Veuve Clicquot have confirmed the 1893 bottle is the oldest in existence and it can now be viewed in its visitor centre in Reims, France.

Veuve Clicquot said the bottle was “priceless; it is a one off and therefore unique. We would never consider selling it as it is far too important to us. It is a unique piece of Champagne history.”

Time for Idle to check the attic and the stables for old pieces of brown furniture, possibly even a visit to the clan chief in his lair in the Highlands as well...

Not Cricket

No wonder the wretched fellow couldn't score a run to save his life and had started to make captaincy decisions that bordered on lunacy.

His backbone had turned into another tear duct! This is obviously not the same man who took the Ashes from the Strines in 2005.

We know why he's REALLY crying, of course: no share of the $20m pyjama cricket slogathon in Antigua this autumn.

The Idle choice for new skipper is old Fatty Key, by the way. Good batsman, already achieved a double ton in tests, good skipper at Kent, not part of the current cosy, rich England set-up.