Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Debauching the Honours System

"Veteran US politician Ted Kennedy is to be awarded an honorary knighthood by the Queen".

What? The disgraced stupid youngest brother of the dead Kennedys, who allowed a girl to die in his car, whilst saving himself? Who hid from the police, lied and prevaricated? To be given an honorary knighthood? By the Queen?

"Prime Minister Gordon Brown will announce the award during his address to both houses of Congress today".

Ah. So it isn't the Queen, it's McBust, on his Save Me tour of Washington. A man who claims to be a great student of modern political history, particularly American history. A man who used to spend his summer holidays on Cape Cod. A man who 'writes' books about (wait for it) courage.

You would have thought that he would have heard about the Chappaquiddick incident, looked into it, formed an opinion. Or perhaps he just took Ted's word for it.

However, when one of the most boring speakers in the history of world politics gets his fifteen minutes in the American limelight addressing a few hundred American congressmen, his normal speak-your-weight delivery isn't going to cut the mustard. No siree. And his joke telling isn't just bad, it's non-existent. Those Yankee politicos gonna nod off like Grampa on his porch, 'cepting the ones who are pissed at this Limey sleazeball for blaming his woes on the Americans. Others will be transfixed by the facial tick - "What's with this guy's fish impressions? He looks kinda weird doin that gulping thing".

No, a gimmick is needed. Got it! - give a gong to the last surviving Kennedy! Chappaquiddick shmiddick - who cares any more? Friend of the IRA? - nah, they're all in government in Ulster now, having achieved the square root of fuck all in their attempt to unify Ireland, just thousands of deaths and thousands of pounds of pension to look forward to in their retirement, and all their mates out of prison. Ted, stupid? - yes, but he's a KENNEDY. They're American royalty, it's been said a million times. And anyway he's knackered, got a brain tumour, fell into his soup at the inauguration lunch, won't last long.

I've got an idea. Why don't we give him Sir Fred's gong?

A quote: " Do we operate under a system of equal justice under law? Or is there one system for the average citizen and another for the high and mighty? "~ Senator Ted Kennedy, 1973


Barnsley Bill said...

I am more incensed about mandelsnake being granted the ermine to be honest.
Aqua boy from chappaquidick would have been offered this to make up for the pen holder.

Bill said...

Perhaps we should abolish the honours and simply keep awards for the services and bravery.

The Refuser said...

It seems NuLabour have an ability to debase everything they come in contact with. Brown is supposed to be a historian. Maybe he should have done a bit more research on Kennedy. The man is a scoundrel who despises the British and yet we reward him with a K. Hopeless.

lilith said...

Bet Brenda is having a cringe over this one. EEEEwwww! I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

electro-kevin said...

A Kennedy took America into Vietnam where it was defeated ignominiously (a humiliation yet to be surpassed in Iraq). Yet he's fated as a great American President.

A President who had the guts to end the Vietnam debacle is vilified as a crook over some petty fogging incident.

Wankers have all the luck. There is no justice in this world.

apricotfox said...

Love the comment on Barnsley Bill...'For services to road safety and family values'. If it din't make us want to cry, we'd be laughing our heads off. Disgraceful. NuLabour have indeed debased EVERYTHING they have touched...

Barnsley Bill said...

E-K, how are you. I miss your blog.

The poon hound president is remembered fondly because he got shot. If he had lived he would have gone down as the worst pres in a century. Funnily enough he got in with massive voter fraud paid for by his father and organised by the dimmocrats.

idle said...

I don't much care about Lord Fondlebum of Boy in the Lords, BB. Most of the good hereditaries got booted out, those that stayed were done on a party list, so they can stuff it full of poofs and crooks and we'll find another way eventually.

idle said...

Yes, Bill. HM can keep her Order of Merit for the most deserving 24, though.

Bill Quango MP said...

Aqua boy from chappaquidick would have been offered this to make up for the pen holder.

brilliant.Laughed out loud enough to wake the baby, BB.

Mr Bean actually defied expectations and did a passable impression of an auditor addressing a statisticians convention. I only nodded off in the middle, which was a huge improvement over his normal statements which are world renowned for being mind numbingly banal.

Still, I don't expect the Winston award for oratory will be coming home any time soon.

"For the lesson of this crisis is that we cannot just wait for tomorrow today. We cannot just think of tomorrow today. We cannot merely plan for tomorrow today. Our task must be to build tomorrow today.”

so.... "Ich Bein ein builder"

Barnsley Bill said...

The highlight (s) of the whole ill fated trip for me has been brown attempting to demonstrate his green credentials by cycling to the white house to reduce his carbon foot print.
Guido has a photo of him as he had just climbed of his bike.
And the other one was the cartoon of him in the times portrayed as a dog sniffing the chosen ones canine arse.
I cannot recall a time when a serving PM has been held in such low regard by so many.

Arbuthnot Perkins (ex-MBE) said...

This is outrageous. I have accordingly notified the members of the Adcaster Naturists Club (ANC) and the mayor of Scotton Pinkney parish that my MBE was yesterday returned whence it came. That'll learn 'em not to mess wih us properly deserving citizens.

Er, am I allowed to say "citizens" here?

PS: It has been, ah, a bit breezy up the channel lately too.

apricotfox said...

What the f*** were all those standing ovations about? The whole ridiculous, sycophantic, deluded circus that is establishment politics just beggars belief. Where's the revolution?

Bill said...


Also given its longevity perhaps the Order of the Garter might also be saved. (I was a guest of one of the participants at the garter ceremony a few years ago and it was quite fun).

idle said...

If we are to become sentimental about the longevity of these orders, Bill, surely all should be saved.

I was reading some gibberish about an opening for Harry Wales to join the Garter the other day, but it was a bit sensitive because he would therefore have become a member at a younger age than his brother. Much though I admire many facets of young Harry's character, it seems to me to be ridiculous that we should have so highly regarded an order, only to populate it with young boozers and shaggers like Harry. Let him wait and be judged when he's grown up.

William Gruff said...

Scrap the lot and get rid of the monarchy too. It's all mediaeval nonsense.

rvi said...

Whilst I'm drowning in confusion over why his honour has been considered, from the Kennedy viewpoint it all appears to be going .. er.. swimmingly.

BRICKBAT said...

That´s the equivelent of giving seamus(the youngest from fifteen) from the local pikey camp a postumous obe for tarmacing old peoples driveways and stealing garden tools