Tuesday, 21 October 2008

2008 Blogger Clerihew Open Championship

Edmund Clerihew Bentley (July 10, 1875 – March 30, 1956) Popular English novelist and humorist of the early twentieth century, and the inventor of the clerihew, an irregular form of humorous verse on biographical topics.

I'll start you off:

Osborne (George)
Attempted to forge
Relationships with billionaire Russians
But there were repercussions

Tuscan Tony
Is quite bony
But it's very hard to tell
Since he drank all that Moscatel

The Beast
To make any sense
When they converted from lsd to pence

Would still
Lighten the gloom
On a fogbound day in Frome

Guido Fawkes
A good game
But he's really quite tame

Nick Drew
To the Gold Medal with a poem to remember
In Idle's competition a year ago last September


idle said...

Very few people sidle
Into the Comments section at Idle
So I will, in case no other
Could bother

idle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
idle said...

When Electro Kevin
Leaves Devon
He never goes by plane
But always by train

Tuscan Tony said...

Is a whizz with a verse
but when the Balvenie's in him
He is substantially worse

idle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
idle said...

The Tuscan's attempt
Is bent
Any fule kno that a clerihew must see
A rhyming scheme of AA BB

idle said...

If you are looking for knobs
Has a selection from gold plate to bakelite
On his building site

Tuscan Tony said...

Billie Piper
Close to Idle but riper
As rich as Croesus
Lowers Easebourne tone to its kneesus.

Tuscan Tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tuscan Tony said...

Kerry Packer
Polo hacker
Gave Stedham fireworks some serious handle
Now they're down to a Roman candle.

idle said...

The vally of the Rother
Is like no other
But I bet you a fiver to a banana
It would benefit from a Tuscana

Scrobs said...

Only seen -
by Lady Lils,
She's so serene,
A plot for a scene...

Scrobs said...

Iders, a trusty man...
good for confiders,
Less legs than spiders, but
Leaps the wider spaces,
and laughs...

Scrobs said...

Elecs; the Man in the lead...
Free to impede
us drivers who bleed
the pumps of the weed,
deep under the screed,
Long fermented and freed,
with the toxicity of greed' which
shrieks at our need
to travel at speed...

idle said...

First effort works if you run lines 3 and 4 together, scrobs.

The second effort has some interesting ideas but is an abortion.


That's the rhyme scheme. Four lines, each as long as you want. No scansion is required, only a rhyme, the more forced or imaginative the better.

idle said...

What are you on tonight, scrobs? Absinthe and crack?

EC Bentley would turn in his grave.

Four lines, man! C'est tout.

Scrobs said...

Can tell from afar,
how tales from a bar can
enlargen a car to
a Carrera -
or maybe an inferior...

Scrobs said...

Actually Iders, there was a huge gap between the words in yours...

Wider (huge gap) spaces.

It's our wedding anniversary - so crack's off, but something golden's on the elbow...

idle said...

Drinking whisky at the PC
Isn't easy
When the Scroblena would instead
Prefer you in bed

Tuscan Tony said...

Happy wedding anni, scrobs! Ours too this month(10 yers before the mast) so we're off to Venice next wek to relve happy childfree days (actually 1 day 1 night, but...). Childcare is on the premises here and c/o a friend of Max Mosely. Honest to god.

Sorry Rother-dweller
For being an offtopic-fellah
Will resume the Clerihewic diction
When I've finished Pulp Fiction.

[Tuscana at choir practice, and mouse is ergo at the drinks cabinet, big time.]

Nick Drew said...

To those of finer sensitivities, Ed Balls
Regularly appalls.
He’s Gordon’s factotum
With (appropriately) a face like a scrotum

Nick Drew said...

The elegant Iain Dale
Gets astonishing quantities of mail
But he’d give it all up tomorrow to be
A Tory MP

idle said...

Hurray! Nick Drew is here, and he is not a man one needs to coach when it comes to clerihews. I like his two openers.

My 20:57 may have had four lines with gaps, scrobs, but was not an attempt at a clerihew.

idle said...

Lord Mandelson of Hartlepool
You're mostly bright, but partly fool
You were a bit of a dobbin, son
To borrow from Geoffrey Robinson

idle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
idle said...

What happened on the yacht
Has not
Been corroborated by Mrs Deripaska
Will someone ask her?

idle said...

Chris Bryant
Is quite pliant
With some of those
Who saw his self portrait (without clothes)

Scrobs said...

The morning after...
Hmmm... I've never written dafter...
So thank you Iders
For listening yesterday evening, but now I have to be up pretty early to go to Norwich, and as I'm not sure how far it is, I've been up in the roof to open all the cabin trunks, leather bags from the sub-continent, suitcases with brown labels with exotic names like 'Lagos' and 'Kaduna' and old wicker baskets to see if I can find my Dad's old navigation DIVIDERS...

Scrobs said...

Click 'send'.

Tuscan Tony said...

This, from the bastard lovechild of Edmund Clerihew and Dundee's very own William McGonagall:

This 30th comment
certainly puts a major dent
in Idle's early admission frank
that his post would draw a blank

Lilith said...

Excellent post from Idle the Bard
Finding a rhyme doesn't have to be hard,
George's choice of friends is poor
He won't be staying with Nat any more..

rvi said...

I'm sick and tired of trying to
Rhyme a word with Clerihew.
So, abandon hope who enter here
and come and join me for a beer.

I don't know if that's a Clerihew
But it was the best that I could do.
I might return again some day,
but now I really must away.

Tuscan Tony said...

..and the winner is...?

idle said...

It does look as though the comp has run out of steam, doesn't it?

Give it 48 hours, and there will be a winner. Prize: excellent hermitage, to be consumed chez idle on November 10th.

a late entrant said...

"Appointing the Balls
were testy calls!"
Gordon seddit
But did you geddit?

idle said...

Late entries count double when a compo dries up as quickly as this one has. And with puns as splendid as yours, Late Entrant, a podium place is not entirely ruled out.


Tuscan Tony said...

Late entrant could be yer man, Idle.

As a tithe, or possibly burnt offering, for being allowed to enter I will be presenting mine host with a bottle of Piat's finest on the 10th.

late entrant on tenterhooks said...

So when is the result to be announced - or did I miss it?

If my humble effort was indeed successful, please donate the cash equivalent of the prize to your favourite charity (which in my book strictly begins and ends at home!)

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