Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Gordon's Landslide






Gordon Before.....Gordon After






Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Gordon fell apart one day
It happened at terrific pace
The first to go was Gordon's face.

"We can't have this" his Dad opined,
"You're due on telly's News at Nine"
But even as he spoke they saw
Gordon slipping more and more

First his nose, his chin, his eyes...
Then his neck and then his thighs,
"Stop him someone!" Mother hoots
"His jowls are heading for his boots"

Too late, too late - and what bad luck
His looks, just like the country, fucked
The normal-looking Celtic man
Now resembled Aberfan

And there he lay: PM no more,
Just a slagheap on the floor....


Apols to Python (Monty)

13 comments:

Scroblene said...

Marvellous Iders - struggling to remember the original; all I can come up with is 'There were no flies on Fred this morning', by John Lennon!

Possibly the same sentiments!

fleetofworlds said...

He's definitely melting, isn't he...

electro-kevin said...

If he gets anymore saggy in the face his glass eye might slither out and roll across the lecturn during the forthcoming conference.

Wouldn't that be a hoot !

Lilith said...

What shocking photos Idle!

The Lakelander said...

If I remember rightly, the original Monty Python version ended with the comment "and that's what a haggis is..."

idle said...

The lakelander is correct. Horace ate himself and all that was left was the stomach. I did try to paraphrase the haggis bit, given that McTwat is a lowland Scot, but it didn't come naturally.

No flies on Fred is not a Lennon lyric I can identify, scrobs, and I am too idle to google it.

I think that gayGordo should practise a trick with his fake eyeball. A bit of sleight of hand, slightly shocking to the elderly and infants, might be a vote winner. But knowing him, he'd fuck it up, drop the eyeball, have to scrabble about under his lecturn or the despatch box to relocate it, then he'd have to suck it before replacing it, etc.

Lil, I await photos of the Cheese Show and the result of Pig's effort to win Best Mongrel.

electro-kevin said...

"If he gets anymore saggy in the face his glass eye might slither out and roll across the lecturn during the forthcoming conference."

Well ...c'mon - wouldn't it complete the whole unedifying vision of Britain falling apart perfectly ? Frankenstein/Cyclops decaying and putrifying under the heat of the media glare and the financial meltdown ?

Look. The more you fuckers ignore me the more graphic I'm going to get.

idle said...

You're right, E-K. Remember when Bush senior, his administration and reputation in ruins, went on a visit to China (Bush papa was always happiest when abroad)?

He put some food into his mouth, bit into it, and realised that it was either a red setter or a burmese cat. And we know what happened next...

He barfed all over the Communist Party National Committee and their lady wives.

Good way to go, though.

Lilith said...

I have few pics on my phone, Idle. Will upload them for you :-)

Scroblene said...

Sorry Iders - it was from his book 'In his own write'.

I should have mentioned that, and am mortally upset that you were made to feel uncomfortable...

idle said...

Never uncomfortable, scrobs.

Slightly windy at times, though....

Tuscan Tony said...

"I think that gayGordo should practise a trick with his fake eyeball."

Perhaps he should go to Bangkok and study awhile under one of the charming pingpong ball-toting women that infest the place.

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