Monday, 4 February 2013

Throw the Book at Him

Chris Huhne quits after guilty plea

Chris Huhne has announced he will quit as MP for Eastleigh in Hampshire after pleading guilty to perverting the course of justice, setting up a tense coalition battle as Conservatives and Liberal Democrats vie for the marginal seat.
Speaking outside court, Mr Huhne said: “I have pleaded guilty today. I am unable to say more while there is an outstanding trial.

“Having taken responsibility for something that happened 10 years ago, the only proper course of actions is for me to resign my Eastleigh seat in parliament and I will do so later today.”

 Now just hold on a minute............

Why has this lasted so long?

How could he possibly justify drawing his Parliamentary salary and pension contributions since the day he was charged?

Has he not caused a monumental waste of police time and resources?

I expect Mr Justice Hangemhigh to jail him, fine him, award all costs against him. If he does not, we will require an explanation.

Big Darren, occupant of Cell13, Block 5, Wandsworth, is wondering who his new cellmate is going to be, to play the role of Nurse in his Doctors and Nurses games after lights out each night.........


Locke 'n' Load: Gunsmiths said...

Colonel, Sir, is it not within your powers to organise a firing squad? I am sure a quick whip round on here will raise enough for a bucket full of bullets.

idle said...

I think it would be unfair on the British people to deprive them of seeing the perp walk and the enjoyable prospect of Huhne sewing mailbags in between bouts of boisterous (but non-consensual) sodomy.

Happy to re-visit the idea on his release, however.

Bill Quango MP said...

Poor fellow.
He was only following the MP's code.

Rule 1. Don't get caught.

Rule 2. See rule 1.

Rule 3. If you are too dense or incompetent to operate within rules one and two, adopt the appropriate play from the defence grid.

The Archer. Deny any wrongdoing. favour a friendly judge.Keep the whoppers coming.

The Maxwell. Sue, sue and sue again. Even a mention of a hint of a scandal..sue!

The McShane. Blame Mossad.

The Hamilton. Point out the time you were {wrongly} attacked for things you never did. Ignore any reference to things you actually did.

The Hoon. Just look slightly puzzled and confused and shrug shoulders a lot.The idiot defence.

The Prescott. Punch someone unimportant.

The Beckett. Repeat 'it was all within the rules' until people go away.

The Blears. Sob and bawl and wave a cheque for restitution that may or may not have to ever be cashed.

The Blair. Resign and flee nation making sure to shred any and all paperwork relating to anything at all.

[Except for that contract written in blood with the pentagrams on it. No point shredding that. The party of the second part always has a copy filed away in the dark vault.]

Thud said...

A shitbag of the first order.

Electro-Kevin said...

I would expect that he lasted so long only because of the clever (and very expensive) lawyers that he employed.

I can't help but be saddened by his son's emails. A shitbag of the first order I agree, but surely there is madness at the bottom of all this.

Take him away !