Wednesday 23 April 2008

Blue on Blue



This is a few weeks old. But I like it.

Tuesday 22 April 2008

He doesn't photograph well, does he?



H/T Speccy, again

I have two opposing captions:

1. "Look at that gurning fool. When ah'm Prime Minister it'll all change fae the better. How long wull ah have tae wait?"

2. "Feck! he's got oot just in time. My economic sandcastle is aboot tae be washed awa', bobbing like a turd on the Clyde, and ah'll go doon in history as the worst PM ever. Doomed. DOOMED!"

Friday 18 April 2008

Caption Competition



"And if you were 100% African, senator, I'd reckon about this long"

Thursday 17 April 2008

Thursday 10 April 2008

Internet Dating, Part 1









When we told the idle girls to get a shift on, we were due at lunch a mile or two along the beach, they were puzzled.

"Who with, Daddy?"

"A fellow who, ummmm, visits the same blogs as I do"

"But Daddy, you told us never even to think about meeting someone you contacted through the internet. You even stopped us using Bebo when those stories started circulating a couple of years ago. And you disapprove of Myspace"

"I know, idle cherubs, I know. But this is different. He is opinionated about politics, seems soundly right wing, enjoys game shooting and is crazy about guns"

"Guns?????"

"Damn, wish I hadn't said that last bit"

"Daddy, we've come all this way to Barbados to see a gun-toting blogger guy who is probably an internet rapist?"

"Of course not, I thought it might be amusing. And anyway, Mrs 45 Government is joining us"

"What sort of name is that? You must be crazy!"

So we got into the big van we hired (there were 8 of us, the girls christened it the Loser Cruiser), and trundled off to the Carib beach bar. There, to greet us, wearing an incongruous but rather upmarket Royal Shakespeare Company baseball hat, was 45Govt and the charming Mrs 45. A fine lunch of mahi-mahi was had, with reasonable rum intake and a terrible, sweet, Californian rose that should really have been avoided. We learned a great deal about the island, sporting guns, and poor behaviour at educational institutions, sometimes resulting in expulsion.

I now know more about 45 Govt than I will divulge on this blog, and can report that he is often unarmed and not an internet rapist. But that's how the idle girls still refer to him, poor man.