Thursday, 10 April 2008

Internet Dating, Part 1









When we told the idle girls to get a shift on, we were due at lunch a mile or two along the beach, they were puzzled.

"Who with, Daddy?"

"A fellow who, ummmm, visits the same blogs as I do"

"But Daddy, you told us never even to think about meeting someone you contacted through the internet. You even stopped us using Bebo when those stories started circulating a couple of years ago. And you disapprove of Myspace"

"I know, idle cherubs, I know. But this is different. He is opinionated about politics, seems soundly right wing, enjoys game shooting and is crazy about guns"

"Guns?????"

"Damn, wish I hadn't said that last bit"

"Daddy, we've come all this way to Barbados to see a gun-toting blogger guy who is probably an internet rapist?"

"Of course not, I thought it might be amusing. And anyway, Mrs 45 Government is joining us"

"What sort of name is that? You must be crazy!"

So we got into the big van we hired (there were 8 of us, the girls christened it the Loser Cruiser), and trundled off to the Carib beach bar. There, to greet us, wearing an incongruous but rather upmarket Royal Shakespeare Company baseball hat, was 45Govt and the charming Mrs 45. A fine lunch of mahi-mahi was had, with reasonable rum intake and a terrible, sweet, Californian rose that should really have been avoided. We learned a great deal about the island, sporting guns, and poor behaviour at educational institutions, sometimes resulting in expulsion.

I now know more about 45 Govt than I will divulge on this blog, and can report that he is often unarmed and not an internet rapist. But that's how the idle girls still refer to him, poor man.

16 comments:

Tuscan Tony said...

If a man can be judged by the views from his favourite beachfront bar, then 45 is a decent fellow indeed - as he never ceases to remind me via a stream of coconut palm and white sand-flecked emails from his island eyrie.

45govt said...

It was a great pleasure Idle, only sorry your weather wasn't as good as usual. I look forward to repeating the experience at some point.
Our best to Mrs Idle, and your two cheeky young tarts.

Lilith said...

Ha Ha the Idle lasses are as funny as their father :-) My own Girl was horrified that I had divulged to Scroblene that she had been to prep school in his home town!

What a lovely thing to have done :-)

Lilith said...

Meeting up with the 45Govt's I mean is a lovely thing to have done, not giving your daughters' identities away to gun crazed internet psychos...

idle said...

Scrobs is a harmless old buffer, lil, so the damage to young Miss Shearer is likely to be minimal.

The 45 meeting was so easy to arrange and carry out that it seemed churlish not to. And one can tell who the decent chaps are in the comment threads, usually.

Then again, I haven't posted about the meeting with the Tuscan and Tuscana yet.....

Trubes said...

Hello Idle: Glad you had a good holiday..Welcome back.
Your daughters sound great fun, and obviously, keep their Papa on his toes.

Lilith said...

Do tell, Idle ;-)

electro-kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
electro-kevin said...

Does he speak patois ? Does he walk with jauntily with a bounce every third beat ?

The choice of weaponry is impeccable - the baseball cap I'm not so sure about.

I always imagined that an Englishman in the Carribean would eventually take on characteristics similar to George Formby having been crossed with Puff Diddy, "Eeeee - turned out nice again ... muddafucka !"

idle said...

He saves his worst language for his comments on Guido, E-K. Mrs 45 did not seem to me to be the sort of woman that would put up with foul mouthed utterances. Perhaps she keeps a Saturday Night Special in her handbag, a little 2mm sort of thing, to zap 45 in the kneecaps when he inadvertantly effs and blinds.

45govt said...

E-K, the baseball cap is de rigeur, no to the patois, but I do speak Bajan, maan.

Idle, you are right about Mrs but
2" 32 not 2mm, she wouldn't frighten me much with that!

I am just arrived in da Yookay as E-K call it, and seem to have brought the weather with me.

idle said...

45, if you have an open period in the West End during the working week or in Sussex during the weekend, and wish to partake of a heart-starter, email as necessary.

The idle girls have returned to their country clubs for the next few weeks.

DirtCrashr said...

Sounds like a fine get-together, I'm headed to the middle of the opposite ocean in a few weeks and greatly looking forward to it.
Baseball cap or bandanna a protective requirement, could never sort out those straw, Greg Norman golf hats - and he's still got all that hair on top?

idle said...

Surely the bandanna look was compromised by Silvio, dc.

I reckon a white pork-pie hat, as worn by butchers, for elf 'n safety reasons, is going to be The Look for 2008.

DirtCrashr said...

I did that look (sorta), last year when we rented a silver-blue Mustang! :-)

Sanket said...

If you're looking for online dating services, you've come to the right place. No longer do you have to waste your time joining dating service after dating service. So click here for a comprehensive listing of online dating services.