Saturday, 29 December 2012

The Dodgy Honours List, in Full

Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, Kt
Hmm. Let's just see if his 'unequivocal support' to the coppers who might have, well, made it all up about Thrasher Mitchell, explodes in his face. I am a great supporter of awarding medals and honours to policemen upon their retirement, rather than upon their appointment to top jobs. Who, for instance, would have awarded anything but a large raspberry and a halving of his pension to Sir Ian Blair, after the mockery he made of his Commissioner's tenure? Oh, that's right, NuLabour - they made him a PEER! Jeeeesus!

Cherie Blair QC, CBE
For services to her property portfolio, shoe collection and dubious agenda politics. Apparently she has done much for 'women's services and charity, at home and overseas'. Now, Idle has met and chatted to Cherie, and can report that she is less alarming of visage than her unphotogenic history. Furthermore, she is bright and direct. Her work at the infamous Matrix Chambers, however, qualifies her only for an EU 'human rights' gong. Not remotely has she stood up for the British Empire. I dare say the very phrase makes her quiver. Or wobble.

Sir Hector Sants, Kt
Yes, him. The man who was asleep at the wheel of the FSA in the run up to the financial crisis, and proved incompetent as it unravelled. You know the chap - he was responsible for regulating, inter alia, Barclays, who rigged LIBOR, did their fair share of stuffing their clients with useless PPI rubbish, etc. 'Santa' has now gone off to join, erm... Barclays as head of compliance, on £3m a year. Move along please, people - no conflict of interest to see here.

Dame Ursula Brennan, DCB
Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Justice. Our justice system is chaotic, favours criminals over victims, sets ever more lenient sentences, commands less and less public respect. Enuff said.

Miss Tracey Emin CBE
Oh bleeding dear. A testament to vulgarity, vanity and breathtaking chutzpah. Not a single grain of artistic talent. An 'artist' for the I'm a Big Brother Get Me Celebrity Strictly Outtahere generation.

There are more, but my bath is run and I need a drink - Are these the sort of knights we dub? Won't SOMEONE lead me to the pub!

UPDATE: A good read on La Emin


Scrobs... said...

Here's the list from Jim Hacker's chaotic bunch of time servers - yet again.

I personally well know a name from a previous list who did f*** all for anyone but himself, and was inside several 'names' who made sure that he was stuck up there at some stage.

I really couldn't care a flying f*** at anyone on the list, especially slebs, who deserve bugger all in any case.

My Dad worked his socks off for the community, and for all of his life; yup, he was eventually made a DL, and this pleased him so much, much more than getting a'gong'.


The Lakelander said...

Cherie Blair deserves a gong for giving me so much material worthy of Photoshopping over the years.

That mouth!

I miss her so much. Honest.

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Thud said...

All shits of the first degree.

Mt ghast is truly flabbered said...

A gong for riding a bike; and one for running round in circles? The EU awarding itself the Nobel peace prize?

The world has truly gone mad.

Electro-Kevin said...

I think Bernard Hyphen-How? is typically brilliant police humour. The nickname works on a couple of levels.

Happy New Year

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