Sunday, 22 November 2009

The Face of Europe

The old quote about the EU, attributed to Kissinger, was this: "Who do I call when I want to speak to Europe?"

Let us not dwell on whether Baroness Ashton of Wimmin is capable of accurately reflecting the consensus foreign policy opinions and ambitions of all 27 member states (but my hunch is that she won't even attempt to do so; this will be, as with all other things in Europe, a stitch-up by the snail murderers and sausage-noshers).

No, what I worry about is that this person will be the Face of Europe on all those occasions when X invades Y, or A shoots down B's supply plane by mistake, or when the next tsunami heads beach-ward.

And I hope you will not think me ungallant when I suggest that this is a Face that does not show Europe in her best light; that it is a face only a mother could love; that, if it were to launch a thousand ships, that those ships would be crammed to the gunwales with fleeing emigrants, keen to start another life several hundred miles away from That Face.

It is, in short, a loathsome visage. It takes on an even grislier hue when one reflects that it has never submitted itself to popular selection, to democratic vote. It is the face of someone who has climbed the greasy pole of unrepresentative politics in the way that only a slug could.

I fear that the World will think less of us when it sees and hears this thing.

27 comments:

Call me Infidel said...

As Les Patterson might say. "The last time I saw a head like that it had a hook in it" or "A face like a half sucked mango" For me it pretty well sums up how low Labour have brought the once Great Britain. This is the best we can offer to Europe apparently.

Philipa said...

Aww it's not her fault her face is built the way I think she looks a bit like ET and he was cute. I'm ugly. I know you're blessed, Idle, but there really is nothing wrong with being ugly. It's not a choice I made. You can still be a good person, dicover penicillin, be loving kind and helpful, invent the Microsoft corps, be almost as rich as God, make people laugh and write the most wonderful stories that pretty people act out and get paid loadsa money for, or just poor and nice, like an old cloth cat. Or you could be a vinegar faced politician bent on some half-baked ideological, self-righteous ego-trip you read in a pamphlet once, I grant you. But still..

apricotfox said...

Boiler.

hatfield girl said...

Do you know Peter Kellner? He's her mirror image. It's quite astonishing. No one remarks on him. I'm with P on this; I think...

idle said...

I have met Philipa; indeed, I have had lunch with her. She is not remotely ugly.

She says I'm "blessed", and I can't think why. Lady Idle says she can still just about make out the facial attributes that she found attractive a quarter of a century ago, but anyone meeting me now would not have the advantage of a rose-tinted memory.

Ashton is the north end of a south-bound camel, though.

Thud said...

Well beaten with the ugly stick.

Wildhighlander said...

Ah, but Idle, despite Mrs Idle's fabled weakness of vision and your several decades of chewing curmudgeon for breakfast, lunch and dinner, your viz is marred only by lines induced by laughter and - curmudgeon!
The bitter lemon that you have posted has all the happiness of a bad smell about her. Possibly, the result of a lifetime of Brussel's sprouts?

The Lakelander said...

When first saw her, she reminded me of the alien in "Close encounters of the Third Kind". The photo in the top left-hand corner of this gallery looks terribly like her, wouldn't you say?

As I hadn't heard much about her before, I looked her up on Wikipedia and wished I hadn't. It was just so depressing to think that this is the best we can do in the UK.

Qualification: BSc in Sociology.
First job: administrator at the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament.

God help us!

idle said...

You were missed at the Day of Death, wild highlander. No excuses next year.

Lady Idle's selective blindness is a great comfort to me as I struggle to stay at my beach-weight of 14 stones.

A first cousin at least, lakes.

electro-kevin said...

A veritable bag of spanners slung around the smacked arse of a bulldog chewing a wasp ...

... having fallen out of the ugly tree (striking every branch on the way down) into the path of a reversing bus.

(Liked Apricot fox's comment better, actually.)

Vinogirl said...

"Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet..."

Scrobs... said...

Just think how lucky we are without no having the Grinner and his Letterbox smirking out from every BBC TV splunge on EU rubbish.

Lexander said...

Has anybody got a pic of her completely pussy naked? I'm willing to pay as it's for an advert that I have been asked to plan for "Safer Sex" ! Toodle pip

Savonarola said...

Ponder this photo shoot.

Madge Beckett, reappointed British Foreign Secretary, welcomes newly appointed EU Foreign Minister, Mrs Kellner to the FO.

The paucity of pulchritude(sic)appeal does not offend. It is sheer uselessness of these ladies that sticks in the craw.

Anonymous said...

There's a good Glasgow word for a face like that.

Minger.

electro-kevin said...

She wasn't just a member of CND. She was a fully-fledged official.

HTF does THAT get in to power ???

Perhaps it's true - the EU is a rebirth of the Soviet Empire. It's all about boring us in to submission.

Elby The Beserk said...

Margaret Beckett's twin sister. However, more to the point is their utter uselessness; Beckett fucking up every job she has ever had, wotsername simply a party Apparatchik with no political achievements to her name whatsoever.

circus monkey said...

Poor soul! She does not even have the advantage of my great wide elastic lips which enable me to kiss two girls and eat a banana at the same time. Mind you she is a perfect visual metaphor for what this sceptred isle has become under the rule of this bunch of gangsters

The Lakelander said...

Circus Monkey:

What is it with these hideous Labour women?

Cherie Blair can eat a hot dog whole.

Sideways.

The Hitch said...

God must have been going long on necks and short on chins when that ugly bitch was conceived

William Gruff said...

Casting brick bats at a woman for her looks is not the sport of men.

We may mock her for her failures in those fields in which she has chosen to compete, or (in her case) not compete, but to abuse her for her looks or shape is to make one no more than one of the mob.

The woman should be judged on her political failures and nothing else.

Anonymous said...

Bite me Gruffy.

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