Friday, 13 April 2012

Who You Gonna Call?

I have the highest regard for the fire brigade. They are brave and splendid. Those chaps in New York who rushed up the Twin Towers are beyond superlatives for their selflessness.

However. Take a modern British fireman away from a fire and ask him to, oh I don't know - get his ankles wet saving a seagull from distress, and he's as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

Why did FIVE crews answer the emergency call and descend on Carshalton Ponds? One gets the impression they were ready, willing and able to throw caution to the wind, risk a nasty cold by allowing some pond water to slosh over the top of their wellies, maybe even take a painful peck on the wrist from Jonathan Livingstone Seagull whilst wrestling with his foot and the Tesco bag.

Well, we know the rest. The dangers were too great. LIFE THREATENING, they were.

We must blame Elf 'n Sayftee rather than the Fire Brigade, must we not? Well, not so fast..... I can't quite believe that the Fire Brigade has allowed itself to look like a bunch of bolshy pansies because of H&S measures beyond it's control. I believe that the FB Union has been involved in the creation of all of these risk-averse policies. In short, they need to man up, and soon. Otherwise, they will become a laughing stock.

Above all, I just wish they'd be honest. Who took the call regarding the seagull? Why scramble five crews for so petty a matter? Why not just tell the bleating individual who made the call that it wasn't a matter for the Fire Brigade, particularly one as allergic to water as ours.


Thud said...

Little snippets of madness such as this just leave me confused, just what is happening to people/organisations? does anybody feel any shame or pride? I'm not too old but already I feel like a relic from better times.

Nomad said...

Carshalton fire brigade's budget for next year will include lines for a lifeboat and a helicopter - just to be on the safe side when dealing with emergencies in 9 inches of weed-infested pond water.. That ought to fix it, but considerably more thought needs to be given to the equipment needed to rescue Mrs Scroggs's cat from that 8ft high ivy bush by the Oxfam shop. You need nerves of steel these days to join the fire department.

See you in the Greyhound next time I'm over that way.

Bill Quango MP said...

I did hear some firepersons on the radio after there was criticism that they'd attended a cat rescue or a put a bird back in a nest or something. The crews claimed that the vehicles and equipment were all sitting around and being paid for anyway, so why not use them to free a budgie with its beak jammed in the birdcage lock?

If there was something more important, they'd attend that. But there wasn't...So why not wash a grannies gutters of leaves?
Beats watching Finding Nemo on the dvd for the 5th time.

FBU leaders then came on and explained that the firefighters were the best in the world. Spend all day training hard and were massively underpaid and overworked and had a job where life expectancy is less than a WW1 reconnaissance pilot.

I remain unconvinced.