Thursday, 17 September 2009

To the Sweatshop

Idle no more.

It's a dashed bad show, but the bursar from the idle girls' country club is clamouring for a cheque, the lady idle will insist upon Caribbean winter breaks, and the wine merchant has applied for charitable status, so long is it since he had a sniff of a guinea from yours truly.

I had a chat with a man who knows someone in the City who told him that the smoke had cleared and as far as he knew no more large banks were going to go down the swanee. Furthermore, some of them were actually hiring and paying a living wage. Something to do with Government guarantees. Splendid.

So I'll see if I can quantitatively ease myself into the old dark navy blue, dust off the bowler and polish the silver ring on the umbrella. A word in the ear of the head steward at the club, and I'll be expecting the usual table at 1pm for the forseeable.

So, Monday morning, up to the smoke. Up in the air to Jersey, actually, for a quick shufti, followed by some nice fish, one hopes. More than that I cannot really say, but I'd appreciate no snide comments about bankers' bonuses or taxpayer bailouts. The way I was going, in a few more years I would have been eligible for the Nat King Cole, housing benefits and I dare say council tax relief as well. One's credit rating would have simply died. Just think what you have saved yourselves.

Given that only three of you read this, it won't be missed if it becomes a once-a-week job, will it? I will continue to visit the comment threads of more industrious bloggers.

The name of this blog is not changing. It wouldn't do to break into a sweat; busy people in a frightful rush tend to forget things and worry the horses. No, Idle it remains.

19 comments:

Bill Quango MP said...

Damned bad luck. However I expect after a few days you will have made a few million.
CU always has some good tips. But for me its like the horses. They only come in when someone else backs them.

Philipa said...

Once a week would do nicely, Idle :-)

Beats buggering the bursar, what?

Best of luck, old chap.

I say, next time I'm in town can I pop by and ask you to lunch? You don't have to come I'd just like to ask you - walk in the place, clacking my plastic stilletos across the floor and hotching my boob tube up (no coat) and ask for you in a broad regional accent. 'cor innit posh in 'ere? Bostin. Can I speak to Idle, ya know, the one with the legs.'

Scrobs... said...

I agree with Pips Iders, once a week is plenty, and your three readers should be happy with that!
Good news about the sudden income!

Let me know if you're anywhere near Liverpool Street on the first Thursday of every month...

On the other hand, you may not want to, in fact I really mean you shouldn't - nope - never...

Never never never never never...

Pips' lunch sounds interesting though...

rvi said...

Only 3 readers? With that sort of mathematical ability it is no wonder you have become a banker.

lilith said...

Hurrah! A great many share portfolios are depending upon you...save the nation Idle!

Call me Infidel said...

Quality not quantity is your forte Idle.

The Lakelander said...

Best of luck with the new role, old chap.

Don't work tooooo hard, will you?

Thud said...

Perhaps the new enviroment will inspire even more postings...if not once a week will have to do.

idle said...

Pip, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to take you out to lunch. Best we meet at the restaurant, if you plan to rock up in the boob tube and plastic stilettos. Probably best avoid the Turf Club; wimmin constraints, you know.

As for Scrobs and his First Thursday of the Month Club, well count me in, I say! I take it it will be Bangers, porter in pewter pint pots, etc. Foolish not to.

BECOME a banker, rvi? I AM a banker, albeit an idle one of late....

Call me Infidel gets the September award for a just and sage comment.

Don't worry, lakes.

Irony noted, thud.

rvi said...

Sincerest apologies - Correction: ... no wonder you are a banker.

Wildhighlander said...

One Job at a time seems sufficient. At least you can shuffle the alphabet into a post at weekends knowing that Monday brings you closer to Berry Bros.

NB re Jersey - Brolly may need to go in a clear plastic bag - its all the rage these days - air rage that is!

BTW There is no reason why Idle should not be a vocation rather than an occupation - so name remains valid

Philipa said...

Well if I'm not popping down the local charity shop for a boob tube (black bra) etc. then I'll wear some old clothes. If it gets any colder it may be a woolly pully and a Barbour, Brrrr! (is it me or has it gone decidedly chilly?)

Seriously; hope all goes well for you, Idle. And having a bloggers luncheon sounds great. Hope we can arrange one before Xmas.

"wimmin constraints" *chuckles*

apricotfox said...

Excellent!
Your devoted readers want full coverage of the experience...
please count me in on a bloggers' lunch , if it happens.

Bill said...

Good luck in your new job. I quit working in the City in the 90s and despite (perhaps because of) having worked in professionally/technically more demanding guises since then, I know how attractive the City is. If you are going to work long hours and be under pressure, you might as well get paid as much as you can for it. If other commitments had not precluded it, I would have returned years ago.

Vinogirl said...

Good luck!

Alceste said...

It really must be a bull market again!

Congrats Idle. I will have to think of some inventive fiction to justify dusting down the corporate Amex and waving it in your direction.

Tuscan Tony said...

Good news for the brood, bad news for your eager readers who hang on your very lips.

Savonarola said...

Sorry Mr Idle but I am a bit behind the loop. Have you more recently been in a UB40 phase. Had not appreciated you were facing a Chap 11 scenario.

Should you not pass muster with the new boss(es) would always be pleased to drop down to The Eagle a pick up the tab should cash flow become a problem.

Anyway nose to the grindstone and replenish the Idle coffers.

snackpot said...

I say old boy, frightful bore that you have now had to go back to work in the old City & that the old Trust Fund from Pater has run dry. Still - needs must.
Can't you get the Duchess at home to rustle up a bit more work ?
Do tell me, have you an old powder blue Triumph Herald knocking about anywhere ?

Pip pip