Edmund Clerihew Bentley (July 10, 1875 – March 30, 1956) Popular English novelist and humorist of the early twentieth century, and the inventor of the clerihew, an irregular form of humorous verse on biographical topics.
I'll start you off:
Osborne (George)
Attempted to forge
Relationships with billionaire Russians
But there were repercussions
Tuscan Tony
Is quite bony
But it's very hard to tell
Since he drank all that Moscatel
The Beast
Ceased
To make any sense
When they converted from lsd to pence
Lil
Would still
Lighten the gloom
On a fogbound day in Frome
Guido Fawkes
Talks
A good game
But he's really quite tame
Nick Drew
Flew
To the Gold Medal with a poem to remember
In Idle's competition a year ago last September
Very few people sidle
ReplyDeleteInto the Comments section at Idle
So I will, in case no other
Could bother
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhen Electro Kevin
ReplyDeleteLeaves Devon
He never goes by plane
But always by train
Idle
ReplyDeleteIs a whizz with a verse
but when the Balvenie's in him
He is substantially worse
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Tuscan's attempt
ReplyDeleteIs bent
Any fule kno that a clerihew must see
A rhyming scheme of AA BB
If you are looking for knobs
ReplyDeleteScrobs
Has a selection from gold plate to bakelite
On his building site
Billie Piper
ReplyDeleteClose to Idle but riper
As rich as Croesus
Lowers Easebourne tone to its kneesus.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKerry Packer
ReplyDeletePolo hacker
Gave Stedham fireworks some serious handle
Now they're down to a Roman candle.
The vally of the Rother
ReplyDeleteIs like no other
But I bet you a fiver to a banana
It would benefit from a Tuscana
Scroblene,
ReplyDeleteOnly seen -
by Lady Lils,
She's so serene,
A plot for a scene...
Iders, a trusty man...
ReplyDeletegood for confiders,
Less legs than spiders, but
Leaps the wider spaces,
and laughs...
Elecs; the Man in the lead...
ReplyDeleteFree to impede
us drivers who bleed
the pumps of the weed,
deep under the screed,
Long fermented and freed,
with the toxicity of greed' which
shrieks at our need
to travel at speed...
First effort works if you run lines 3 and 4 together, scrobs.
ReplyDeleteThe second effort has some interesting ideas but is an abortion.
A
A
B
B
That's the rhyme scheme. Four lines, each as long as you want. No scansion is required, only a rhyme, the more forced or imaginative the better.
What are you on tonight, scrobs? Absinthe and crack?
ReplyDeleteEC Bentley would turn in his grave.
Four lines, man! C'est tout.
Tuscs...
ReplyDeleteCan tell from afar,
how tales from a bar can
enlargen a car to
a Carrera -
or maybe an inferior...
Actually Iders, there was a huge gap between the words in yours...
ReplyDeleteWider (huge gap) spaces.
It's our wedding anniversary - so crack's off, but something golden's on the elbow...
Drinking whisky at the PC
ReplyDeleteIsn't easy
When the Scroblena would instead
Prefer you in bed
Happy wedding anni, scrobs! Ours too this month(10 yers before the mast) so we're off to Venice next wek to relve happy childfree days (actually 1 day 1 night, but...). Childcare is on the premises here and c/o a friend of Max Mosely. Honest to god.
ReplyDeleteSorry Rother-dweller
For being an offtopic-fellah
Will resume the Clerihewic diction
When I've finished Pulp Fiction.
[Tuscana at choir practice, and mouse is ergo at the drinks cabinet, big time.]
To those of finer sensitivities, Ed Balls
ReplyDeleteRegularly appalls.
He’s Gordon’s factotum
With (appropriately) a face like a scrotum
The elegant Iain Dale
ReplyDeleteGets astonishing quantities of mail
But he’d give it all up tomorrow to be
A Tory MP
Hurray! Nick Drew is here, and he is not a man one needs to coach when it comes to clerihews. I like his two openers.
ReplyDeleteMy 20:57 may have had four lines with gaps, scrobs, but was not an attempt at a clerihew.
Lord Mandelson of Hartlepool
ReplyDeleteYou're mostly bright, but partly fool
You were a bit of a dobbin, son
To borrow from Geoffrey Robinson
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened on the yacht
ReplyDeleteHas not
Been corroborated by Mrs Deripaska
Will someone ask her?
Chris Bryant
ReplyDeleteIs quite pliant
With some of those
Who saw his self portrait (without clothes)
The morning after...
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I've never written dafter...
So thank you Iders
For listening yesterday evening, but now I have to be up pretty early to go to Norwich, and as I'm not sure how far it is, I've been up in the roof to open all the cabin trunks, leather bags from the sub-continent, suitcases with brown labels with exotic names like 'Lagos' and 'Kaduna' and old wicker baskets to see if I can find my Dad's old navigation DIVIDERS...
Clerihew,
ReplyDeletePhew,
End,
Click 'send'.
This, from the bastard lovechild of Edmund Clerihew and Dundee's very own William McGonagall:
ReplyDeleteThis 30th comment
certainly puts a major dent
in Idle's early admission frank
that his post would draw a blank
Excellent post from Idle the Bard
ReplyDeleteFinding a rhyme doesn't have to be hard,
George's choice of friends is poor
He won't be staying with Nat any more..
I'm sick and tired of trying to
ReplyDeleteRhyme a word with Clerihew.
So, abandon hope who enter here
and come and join me for a beer.
I don't know if that's a Clerihew
But it was the best that I could do.
I might return again some day,
but now I really must away.
..and the winner is...?
ReplyDeleteIt does look as though the comp has run out of steam, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteGive it 48 hours, and there will be a winner. Prize: excellent hermitage, to be consumed chez idle on November 10th.
"Appointing the Balls
ReplyDeletewere testy calls!"
Gordon seddit
But did you geddit?
Late entries count double when a compo dries up as quickly as this one has. And with puns as splendid as yours, Late Entrant, a podium place is not entirely ruled out.
ReplyDeleteBravo.
Late entrant could be yer man, Idle.
ReplyDeleteAs a tithe, or possibly burnt offering, for being allowed to enter I will be presenting mine host with a bottle of Piat's finest on the 10th.
So when is the result to be announced - or did I miss it?
ReplyDeleteIf my humble effort was indeed successful, please donate the cash equivalent of the prize to your favourite charity (which in my book strictly begins and ends at home!)
I all the time emailed this weblog post page to all my
ReplyDeleteassociates, because if like to read it next my links will too.
My blog post diet plans