Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Namecheck


Every year I get an email from a mate in the City. Some junior trader he knows fills the boring days between Christmas and New Year in the office by trawling through the list of Bloomberg users/subscribers and putting out the annual Best Names list. Here they are, in no particular order. My favourites are the ace French trader at #11, Fabienne Cretin; #23 John Kokkinias, poor bastard, and finally, surely a throwback to Carry On Sailor, at #13 Ginger Seaman.

1. KIKUKO TAKENOSHITA 13. GINGER SEAMAN
2. MATTHEW WANK 14. KAREN ARSOLA
3. CHRISTOPHER FISTER 15. LUDGER POOS
4. GUSTAVO CUNTO 16. ANDREW SHAFTER
5. ROSEMARY NOBBE 17. FUKKY TANTANG
6. CHETAN DIKSHIT 18. WAN KIM
7. DARIO DIKLIC 19. ALEXANDRA SUKMAWATI
8. EDWARD TITTMAN 20. WING MAN
9. DIANE BEAVER 21. DOROTHY CHUNDA
10. DAVID MORON 22. DIK BLEWITT
11. FABIENNE CRETIN 23. JOHN KOKKINIAS
12. DONNA BUMGARDNER 24. ROSS SMELLIE
at

28 comments:

  1. Philipa4 February 2009 at 15:05

    Hilarious! Thanks, Idle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4 February 2009 at 15:38

    I don't get the joke.

    ReplyDelete
  3. apricotfox4 February 2009 at 17:01

    I still smile (infant that I am) when I remember two boys at my brother's school on Exmoor..A(ndrew) Nurse and P(eter)Nurse...the second is now a famous obstetrician, I believe...Well, he would be, wouldn't he?

    ReplyDelete
  4. apricotfox4 February 2009 at 17:37

    ..oh and surely Ginger Seaman is from 'Captain Pugwash'??

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Refuser4 February 2009 at 18:23

    Thanks Idle that gave me a good chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Alceste4 February 2009 at 19:25

    Christopher Fister (sorry if you're tunin' in, Chris) reminds me of a genuine (and pre-spellcheck) letter to a client from a Magic Circle law firm. "I will be the partner in charge and during the transaction I will be assfisted by Jennifer Smith."

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tuscan Tony4 February 2009 at 21:22

    I wondered if these were made up; google suggests I am wrong:

    http://www.facebook.com/people/Kikuko-Takenoshita/695747058

    Not a bad looking filly, for a Takenoshita, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tuscan Tony4 February 2009 at 21:30

    I have invited no.s 1 and 14 to be my friends on Facebook. Will report back. Google has given me the Amex details of No. 4:

    1120088/AMERICAN EXPRESS/Gustavo Cunto/374270025671006/04/09/3544///Gustavo/Cunto/Flat 12/Clarendon Court/33 Maida Vale/London/W9 1AJ/02072664572/gustavoc@btinternet.com/Piedrita/

    All rather worrying.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bill Quango MP4 February 2009 at 23:31

    DARIO DIKLIC

    Imagine him walking up to your receptionist.
    "My name is DARIO DIKLIC. I have an appointment with Mr IDLE"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5 February 2009 at 11:05

    I don't get it either

    ReplyDelete
  11. lilith5 February 2009 at 11:12

    Here is the fabulous samantha bumgarner

    PS. You will need some dressings for the bleeding from your ears if you play the Mp3

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous5 February 2009 at 11:16

    Morning Idle....Farqs here
    Most amusing!! You will be interested to hear that on the day I opened the bowling for Eton against the Dump on the Hump at Lords in 1980 from the Nursery End my team mate Richard Bluett (aka Dick) opened up from the Pavilion End. He took 6-55...I didn't..... 2-24

    ReplyDelete
  13. idle5 February 2009 at 11:34

    Has anyone - ANYONE - ever managed to turn the conversation round to a when-I-opened-the-bowling-for-Eton-at-Lords-story on so skinny a pretext as Farqs just did?

    Of course, I would have done exactly the same.

    So Bluett out-bowled you. Perhaps he was McGrath to your Gillespie.

    ReplyDelete
  14. lilith5 February 2009 at 14:35

    Has anyone - ANYONE - ever managed to turn the conversation round to a when-I-opened-the-bowling-for-Eton-at-Lords-story on so skinny a pretext as Farqs just did?

    Ah hem, Idle, methinks you are pot calling Farqs kettle...

    I seem to recall many "when I had tea with Colonel Gaddafi" type interjections from your own keyboard, Iders...

    Like it, Farqs.

    ReplyDelete
  15. idle5 February 2009 at 15:37

    Oh, all right then. I did admit that I would have done the same, had I ever been entrusted with the new ball at Lords.

    Henry Blofeld once told me that I hit one of the most elegant cover drives he'd ever seen. Problem was that I was driving from the 10th tee at St Enedoc Golf Club.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Bill Quango MP5 February 2009 at 17:43

    Henry Blofeld once told me that I hit one of the most elegant cover drives he'd ever seen. Problem was that I was driving from the 10th tee at St Enedoc Golf Club.

    That's a coincidence.
    He told me I hit the most elegant drive cover he had ever seen.
    A sort of plastic rainproof thingy Lord Stabber-Thighs had had erected over his newly laid gravel.

    ReplyDelete
  17. idle5 February 2009 at 18:47

    Bingo Quall MP - are you sure it wasn't Dr Spooner who said that to you?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous5 February 2009 at 20:00

    This is very offensive to people like me plagued by a name which sick folk like you seem to find funny.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Philipa5 February 2009 at 20:36

    Idle I would be happy to invite you to pop by my humble blog if Blue or Scrobs would be kind enough to give you my blog email address?

    I see that Mel, on the BJ blog, identifies an Alfonso Prat-Gay: "In an office he would answer the phone as: “Prat Gay” "
    Apparently Mr Prat-Gay is meeting next week in parliament.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous5 February 2009 at 22:22

    No-one ever makes fun of MY name...but I think it's really funny and I wish more people would share the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  21. idle6 February 2009 at 01:18

    I have asked scrobs to provide, philipa. I feel most honoured.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Old Holborn6 February 2009 at 10:14

    From this weeks Private eye

    Major Days-Bee
    Mary Ann Bright
    Ann May Hall
    York Rhys
    Mrs B White

    I'm going to use that one next Christmas

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dave H6 February 2009 at 10:50

    My personal favourites are:

    Dr De'Ath (research chemist)
    Helmut Fucker (motorcycle dealer)
    Wilhelm Wank (financial adviser)

    ReplyDelete
  24. drevetailimin6 February 2009 at 15:30

    Strange
    The late Mr Blofeld told me that I had one of the most elegant drives he had ever seen.
    Some pikies had just tarmaced it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous7 February 2009 at 18:26

    circus master; claude Balls
    living by the yangtze; I.P Daily

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous8 February 2009 at 00:41

    idle old chap,do me a bingo and tell me the film with what was the one of the greatest films are one upmanship based on lifemanshipian carmic
    i give up im pissed
    we had a good childhood

    ReplyDelete
  27. Philipa10 February 2009 at 21:44

    bollocksed - school for scoundrels?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous15 February 2009 at 17:55

    Thanks sweetheart?

    ReplyDelete